In addition to continuously losing my phone on Saturday, I also broke the cover off the back. So I've been perpetually paranoid about the battery and chip coming off of it because I hadn't downloaded all of the dozens of emails and texts that I had received from you guys on Saturday.
Well I've finally finished. And I even changed the date and time on every post to reflect the time that I received it. You see, I DO care.
So thank you all for coming out to play in the shorts! And for those of you who shot me messages over the course of the day, thanks for entertaining me. We had a great time seeing you guys bringing the writers' late night ramblings to life.
All of you new people, welcome to the Phare Play Phamily! And for those of you who've been away for a while, but came back to play - it's good to see you again! Hopefully we'll see more of all of you.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Don't Pan-do What Pan-do Don't Pan-does
So now that the weekend is over and I'm back at my regular job of not writing racially/sexually offensive plays, I thought I'd post a quick blog on my experience with this year's festival.
After drawing Chinese New-Year as my holiday and Ghost Hunter as my profession, I had a number of initial ideas that I thought would work well, the first being a noir-style detective story about a woman murdered in (where else) Chinatown and a medium who had to contact her spirit to find out who the killer was (it would've been her sister who hired the detective in the first place. How's that for a twist?), the next being about astronauts hunting ghosts in outer space with specially made ghost-killing rockets that the Chinese made as a way to keep evil spirits from ruining their New-Years festivities (I have no idea why this was going to take place in outer space. I just thought it would be cool). Then I came up with the idea of starting the play off with having my actors lying on the ground looking up at clouds and saying what they looked like and one of them (probably the Asian one) said, "That cloud looks like Chinese New-Year!" Believe it or not I wrote over five pages of that before I realized that I'm a horrible, horrible writer. Oh, and the clouds were going to turn into ghosts and attack the actors in the dramatic finale. How was I going to pull that off on stage, you ask? Easy, ghosts are invisible. Duh! Then at some point in the evening inspiration struck me like a bunch of alcohol poured down my throat and I came up with the idea of having a panda rape one of my actresses off stage for shits and giggles (because nothing goes better with shits than giggles). I think that was actually the inspiration for the whole show and I worked backwards from there.
Needless to say I found the script to be a riot while I was throwing it together at 3:00 in the morning, but when I woke up and re-read it in a more lucid state of mind I realized that I had just unleashed unmitigated evil (and a very un-funny show) upon the world. Do I have time to go back to the cloud idea before I meet my director? No, no I do not.
Thankfully my director is a 24 hour lush (or at least that's what I assume since she actually thought the script was funny) and she even got an obscure reference to "The Muppet Movie" that made no sense what-so-ever in the show's context, so I knew my script was in good hands. Now if only the actors who were unlucky enough to get picked by me didn't mind making total asses out of themselves onstage or derogating their own nationality and ethnicity, I might have a decent show.
Fortunately all the above was true (especially about the director being a raging alcoholic. Rumor has it she's Irish) and they managed to turn my script from (and I am quoting myself during the award ceremony here) "crap into... good crap." And of course 'good crap' was meant to be a compliment when I said it, I'm just a worse public speaker than I am a writer.
I also have to say again how impressed I was with the level and amount of talent on display throughout the night. It was beyond what I'm used to seeing on Broadway stages. As I was watching the pieces I was constantly thinking to myself, "I hope I pick that actor next time," or "I'd love to see what that director can do with my next awful play." I told one of the actors in my show that I still think about him saying, "Dum-dum-dum-dum-Dumbledore," during the last Short-Shorts, and now I can't wait until April 24th so I can randomly say, "Oh, by the way, happy Arbor Day everyone," to everybody I run into.
Oh, did I say this blog was going to be quick? I meant, "so-long-that-nobody-will-bother-to-read-the-entire-thing."
After drawing Chinese New-Year as my holiday and Ghost Hunter as my profession, I had a number of initial ideas that I thought would work well, the first being a noir-style detective story about a woman murdered in (where else) Chinatown and a medium who had to contact her spirit to find out who the killer was (it would've been her sister who hired the detective in the first place. How's that for a twist?), the next being about astronauts hunting ghosts in outer space with specially made ghost-killing rockets that the Chinese made as a way to keep evil spirits from ruining their New-Years festivities (I have no idea why this was going to take place in outer space. I just thought it would be cool). Then I came up with the idea of starting the play off with having my actors lying on the ground looking up at clouds and saying what they looked like and one of them (probably the Asian one) said, "That cloud looks like Chinese New-Year!" Believe it or not I wrote over five pages of that before I realized that I'm a horrible, horrible writer. Oh, and the clouds were going to turn into ghosts and attack the actors in the dramatic finale. How was I going to pull that off on stage, you ask? Easy, ghosts are invisible. Duh! Then at some point in the evening inspiration struck me like a bunch of alcohol poured down my throat and I came up with the idea of having a panda rape one of my actresses off stage for shits and giggles (because nothing goes better with shits than giggles). I think that was actually the inspiration for the whole show and I worked backwards from there.
Needless to say I found the script to be a riot while I was throwing it together at 3:00 in the morning, but when I woke up and re-read it in a more lucid state of mind I realized that I had just unleashed unmitigated evil (and a very un-funny show) upon the world. Do I have time to go back to the cloud idea before I meet my director? No, no I do not.
Thankfully my director is a 24 hour lush (or at least that's what I assume since she actually thought the script was funny) and she even got an obscure reference to "The Muppet Movie" that made no sense what-so-ever in the show's context, so I knew my script was in good hands. Now if only the actors who were unlucky enough to get picked by me didn't mind making total asses out of themselves onstage or derogating their own nationality and ethnicity, I might have a decent show.
Fortunately all the above was true (especially about the director being a raging alcoholic. Rumor has it she's Irish) and they managed to turn my script from (and I am quoting myself during the award ceremony here) "crap into... good crap." And of course 'good crap' was meant to be a compliment when I said it, I'm just a worse public speaker than I am a writer.
I also have to say again how impressed I was with the level and amount of talent on display throughout the night. It was beyond what I'm used to seeing on Broadway stages. As I was watching the pieces I was constantly thinking to myself, "I hope I pick that actor next time," or "I'd love to see what that director can do with my next awful play." I told one of the actors in my show that I still think about him saying, "Dum-dum-dum-dum-Dumbledore," during the last Short-Shorts, and now I can't wait until April 24th so I can randomly say, "Oh, by the way, happy Arbor Day everyone," to everybody I run into.
Oh, did I say this blog was going to be quick? I meant, "so-long-that-nobody-will-bother-to-read-the-entire-thing."
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
From Duncan Pflaster
Finished final draft, then realized my friend who speaks Spanish was online, so asked him to make sure my Spanish in the script was correct. (Two of my actresses had "fluent in Spanish" in their Special Skills) Glad I checked with him- he gave me much better phrasings. Final draft done! Now, shower, breakfast, and I'm on my way back into the city. Woooooooo
Finished final draft, then realized my friend who speaks Spanish was online, so asked him to make sure my Spanish in the script was correct. (Two of my actresses had "fluent in Spanish" in their Special Skills) Glad I checked with him- he gave me much better phrasings. Final draft done! Now, shower, breakfast, and I'm on my way back into the city. Woooooooo
From Bill Bria
All done. Printing out the copies now.
This is the part when I think that what I just wrote is mostly crap and doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Or is any good. Or funny. But both times I have been proven wrong by wonderfully talented actors and directors so now I just have to hand this beast over and say a prayer.
YAAAAA sleepy okay. Time for beds.
All done. Printing out the copies now.
This is the part when I think that what I just wrote is mostly crap and doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Or is any good. Or funny. But both times I have been proven wrong by wonderfully talented actors and directors so now I just have to hand this beast over and say a prayer.
YAAAAA sleepy okay. Time for beds.
From Oliver Thrun
The working title of my piece is: Don't Pan-do What Pan-do Don't Pan-does (it's a Simpsons reference), but I'll probably end up calling it: Oliver's Awesome Play of Coolness Starring Oliver Thrun as The Guy Who Wrote It!
P.S. I wrote a play for Blake about a funeral in Marion a while ago and he never did it and I forgot about it until now and now the Sarah Palin references are too old and they won't be funny any more and he never even told me if I liked it. I mean if HE liked it. You can tell him from me that he's a funky-head! Get down with the funky-head! BOOM-SHAKA-LAKA!!!
The working title of my piece is: Don't Pan-do What Pan-do Don't Pan-does (it's a Simpsons reference), but I'll probably end up calling it: Oliver's Awesome Play of Coolness Starring Oliver Thrun as The Guy Who Wrote It!
P.S. I wrote a play for Blake about a funeral in Marion a while ago and he never did it and I forgot about it until now and now the Sarah Palin references are too old and they won't be funny any more and he never even told me if I liked it. I mean if HE liked it. You can tell him from me that he's a funky-head! Get down with the funky-head! BOOM-SHAKA-LAKA!!!
From: Bill Bria
This could be funny. With the right people. Hopefully it's the right people. I always feel this way at about this point, though, that what I have is really sub-par. I need to pull a rabbit out of my hat with these last 3 pages.
I really want to make a meta-reference so that the audience knows that I know that this concept has been done before...but then I think that maybe it's too on the nose. I might delete it. Okay fuck it, I'm deleting it.
(fun fact: it was a "Truman Show" reference)
From: Michael Weems
1:10 am.
Update. I’m getting super punchy and starting to space out.
Running out of pages (at a full 10 now). And need to close up the story.
Praying I get a director with a sense of humor.
I’ve eaten pizza, a pb&j sandwich, and 1 Dove chocolate.
40 year old virgin on tv. not the same on cable.
I sense an impending smack from the wife when she watches this tomorrow.
Lalalalalalala. Bed looks comfy.
1:10 am.
Update. I’m getting super punchy and starting to space out.
Running out of pages (at a full 10 now). And need to close up the story.
Praying I get a director with a sense of humor.
I’ve eaten pizza, a pb&j sandwich, and 1 Dove chocolate.
40 year old virgin on tv. not the same on cable.
I sense an impending smack from the wife when she watches this tomorrow.
Lalalalalalala. Bed looks comfy.
Jeepers
From: Bill Bria
I may have gotten too high concept for my own good. Just the concept mind you, the execution won't require anything technically crazy.
It's not funny yet. I hope it gets funny. 4 pages in.
I find myself not writing for the actors per se, but trying to make sure everyone gets a decent role/enough "stage time". Don't want to give out any small parts. That's the actor in me talking.
I may have gotten too high concept for my own good. Just the concept mind you, the execution won't require anything technically crazy.
It's not funny yet. I hope it gets funny. 4 pages in.
I find myself not writing for the actors per se, but trying to make sure everyone gets a decent role/enough "stage time". Don't want to give out any small parts. That's the actor in me talking.
Friday, March 27, 2009
The Recap of the Writers' Meeting
Time: 11:58 PM
(Note, I wrote this whole blog already and ended up accidentally erasing. So here I go again!)
So starts the shorts.
We just got back from the big meeting with the writers. Everyone thankfully shows up and pretty much on time.
First things first, the seven writers draw their four actors out of a hat (actually it was out of the blue pouch I use to hold the box office).
Second thing, I announce the first theme to be incorporated. This is the one that came to me while I was doing sketch and then promptly forgot. It's Holidays. And not just any holidays. I went for the obscure ones. Just for grins.
Third thing is the second theme. This one came as a result of me living in abject fear at work of getting laid off and trying to figure out what the hell I would do as there are fewer legal jobs out there and I still wasn't licensed in New York. What with the bad economy and all, people are taking jobs that they wouldn't ordinarily take. Yep, that was the theme - random jobs.
And then the line. Okay, these mad lib lines are hard to come up with. It's tough to come up with something that is distinctive enough to be easily recognizable to an audience member, but still allows the writers some creativity. With some tweaking from Mr. Bradford - the therapist bit was his idea - we came up with this:
"Why are you being a ______________? You're ________________, ________________, and ___________________ - or so my therapist says."
And then parameters.
You had to incorporate both themes somehow.
You had to use the line.
Only 12 pages, but the show couldn't be longer than 15 minutes.
No internal sound or light cues - any sound effects would have to be onstage practicals or they'd have to bring in a CD player and speakers.
They had to have 6 copies of their script at 10 a.m. the next morning.
So here's what each writer left the theatre with:
1) Bill Bria
Holiday: Groundhog's Day
Job: Reality TV Show Host
Cast: Ben Klier, Andrew Lazaroff, Alisha Norris and Gillian Riley
2) Emily Ehlinger
Holiday: Sadie Hawkin's Day
Job: Mad Scientist
Cast: Micah Chartrand, Kate O'Phalen, Alicia St. Louis and Jere Williams
3) Duncan Pflaster
Holiday: Secretary's Day
Job: Butler to a Millionaire Superhero
Cast: Donella Alanwick, Melisa Breiner-Sanders, Emily Evans and Adia Tucker
4) Zach Rothman-Hicks
Holiday: Arbor Day
Job: Petfood Quality Control
Cast: Whitney Elliott, Jeff Kroh, Eddie Rodriguez and Steve Unwin
5) Oliver Thrun
Holiday: Chinese New Year
Job: Ghost Hunter
Cast: Catherine Corbett, Graeme Humphrey, Annie Pesch and Alexia Terrell
6) Michael Weems
Holiday: Boxing Day
Job: Children's Song Writer
Cast: Michael McKeogh, Blaine Pennington, Cara Picone and Dani Suder
7) Spencer Wolf
Holiday: Cinco de Mayo
Job: Judge at a Little Miss Pageant
Cast: Alec A. Head, Derrick Bryant Marshall, Elizabeth May and Lauren Meley
Okay, now that I've rewritten my blog, I have to go update the program so that it is as ready to go as I can make it before tomorrow.
- Christine Weems
From: Spencer Wolf
Thoughts/questions from a train ride home...
Basically, would any of the following come under the umbrella of inappropriate, tasteless, frowned upon, or generally preferred to be absent in the performance:
whores (references to and/or representations of), elegantly outrageous cursing, drug references or use (simulated, at least during the performance), or more whore references/representations - to the point of including it in the title.
Let me know...
Thoughts/questions from a train ride home...
Basically, would any of the following come under the umbrella of inappropriate, tasteless, frowned upon, or generally preferred to be absent in the performance:
whores (references to and/or representations of), elegantly outrageous cursing, drug references or use (simulated, at least during the performance), or more whore references/representations - to the point of including it in the title.
Let me know...
From: Duncan Pflaster
OMG, Zack, Emily, and I got stuck on a train to Queens- someone pulled the emergency brake, and we were stopped for like 10 minutes. Booo. Finally home now, with coffee, at 11:30.
So, I've got Butler to a Millionaire Superhero, Secretary's Day, and FOUR WOMEN. Looks like some hot lesbian superhero action coming up. Hope they don't end up like The Silhouette from Watchmen.
Can you be a butler if you're a girl? I guess buttling isn't exclusively male.
D
OMG, Zack, Emily, and I got stuck on a train to Queens- someone pulled the emergency brake, and we were stopped for like 10 minutes. Booo. Finally home now, with coffee, at 11:30.
So, I've got Butler to a Millionaire Superhero, Secretary's Day, and FOUR WOMEN. Looks like some hot lesbian superhero action coming up. Hope they don't end up like The Silhouette from Watchmen.
Can you be a butler if you're a girl? I guess buttling isn't exclusively male.
D
My Day Today
Ah, game day. I've been running around crazy making sure that everything box office-wise was ready for the opening of I, Undertow and Call Waiting this week. So I managed to put off everything for the Shorts until today.
Well not everything. I had been mulling around themes in my head for the past three weeks. But usually Blake and I conjur these things up together. Unfortunately, Blake has had his hands full with I, Undertow and then this week - he got ridiculously ill. So there were a couple of emails exchanged but no fun sit down as we plotted and schemed against all of the participants together.
So today.
Around 10:30 a.m. - I see I miss a call from Erin Fehr - one of the actresses. Weird. Erin never calls me. But she doesn't leave a message. So I figure it's just been a mistake. Maybe Erin butt-dialed me.
I plug away at my day and do a two hour meeting at another office a couple of blocks away. As I'm walking back to my office, I see that I have missed another call from Erin. I'm outside Grand Central Station in 5PM foot traffic as I try to listen to the message. I can't hear everything because of the streetnoise, but from what I gather there has been a back injury and as much as she hates to do it, she has to pull out.
That saddens me. I adore Erin. She has been in every shorts shorts except for the first one. Wait, was she in the third one...? Not going to lie. Had to think about this one for a second, but yes, she was in the one that won - And the Fish Can Dance. The one where her boyfriend ended up in love with her brother.
Fortunately, I've got a standby list and the first person up who emailed me a hair too late was Whitney Elliott, someone else I adore who just had the misfortune of being too slow on the reply button. I've got her number in my cell and I'm on the phone with her before I even reach my building.
Less than 10 minutes later, she has emailed me her headshot and resume and her bio.
Crisis averted.
Just know Erin, that you are with us in spirit and we all hope you feel better soon.
- Christine
The first post
(before we even leave the theatre)
Email from Michael Weems
Subject - Hmmmmm
What's Boxing Day?
Game Face
I, too am excited for tonight!
On Saturday afternoon, I'm having auditions for my next show, so I won't be getting a lot of sleep tomorrow. So today I'll be sleeping as much as possible during the day (unemployment hurrah), then going to see my friend's show Who Am I, then I'll be ready to START WRITING!
I'm less worried this time around, now that I've done it once. The first time I was nervous until we got our rules and assignments, then I was immediately inspired. Christine says she has an awesome theme this time, so I'm looking forward to it.
w00t!
Oooh, I'd better get new batteries for my camera.
On Saturday afternoon, I'm having auditions for my next show, so I won't be getting a lot of sleep tomorrow. So today I'll be sleeping as much as possible during the day (unemployment hurrah), then going to see my friend's show Who Am I, then I'll be ready to START WRITING!
I'm less worried this time around, now that I've done it once. The first time I was nervous until we got our rules and assignments, then I was immediately inspired. Christine says she has an awesome theme this time, so I'm looking forward to it.
w00t!
Oooh, I'd better get new batteries for my camera.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Who's Excited?
I am!
I'm one of the actors and this will be my first time doing one of these in theatre form. I've done three 48-Hour Film Projects and one of those ended in a car going 100mph down a busy highway only to miss the 6pm deadline. I'm glad I won't be risking my life for this one :)
I'm pretty psyched because as an actor, my job is just to show up and play for a day. Yes there is memorizing lines and blocking and all that but it all just gets lumped into the "play" category for me so I guess that's why I do what I do.
I'm one of the actors and this will be my first time doing one of these in theatre form. I've done three 48-Hour Film Projects and one of those ended in a car going 100mph down a busy highway only to miss the 6pm deadline. I'm glad I won't be risking my life for this one :)
I'm pretty psyched because as an actor, my job is just to show up and play for a day. Yes there is memorizing lines and blocking and all that but it all just gets lumped into the "play" category for me so I guess that's why I do what I do.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
I'm new, and an actor. I don't have any apprehensions yet, but I wrote some haikus I thought I'd share - I call them "Inwood Sonata"
I.
tiny dog who barks
tenacity is key -yea?
you make me hate life
II.
crazy bass thumping
Who gets crunk at 6 PM?
and plays "Yooz a Hoe"?
III.
Spanish bakery
I want some flan why do you
laugh at my white ass?
I.
tiny dog who barks
tenacity is key -yea?
you make me hate life
II.
crazy bass thumping
Who gets crunk at 6 PM?
and plays "Yooz a Hoe"?
III.
Spanish bakery
I want some flan why do you
laugh at my white ass?
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
DAMN
I was at the Broadway Comedy Club last night and it hit me - a fabulous theme for the Short Shorts! I was so excited and I was just about to pull out my phone to email Blake about it - but then I did the show. And I got so caught up in being a nun and a bride and Asian that the damn thing fell right out of my head.
It may not have surpassed the movie/seven deadly sins theme of November, but it was going to be good. And of course, as much as I try to remember, not a thread of it will come to me.
*sigh*
Oh well, back to the drawing board...
- Christine Weems
It may not have surpassed the movie/seven deadly sins theme of November, but it was going to be good. And of course, as much as I try to remember, not a thread of it will come to me.
*sigh*
Oh well, back to the drawing board...
- Christine Weems
Philly or Bust!
I'm not one of those writers who can talk about their process (or spell the word 'process' without checking the dictionary to see how many c's are in it), so I'll just share a funny anecdote from last year that I never told anybody:
I completely forgot that I had agreed to do this last year, which, for those who know me well, shouldn't come as any surprise since I have the memory of a goldfish that was just swallowed by a shark (Why is it so dark in here...? Oh, that's right...), so I made plans to go to Philadelphia for the weekend. I got my bus ticket and booked a hotel room and was planning out my trip when I suddenly remembered (or probably more accurately received an e-mail reminder from Christine) that I had to stay up all night writing a play. So I cancelled all my plans and begrudgingly went to the theater to find out what "The Man" wanted me to write about ("The Man" being Blake... and Christine).
Now, I'm also not one of those writers who likes to drink the devil's semen (or coffee, as it is commonly referred to as) so I prepared myself a big bowl of cereal and a six pack of Corona and said, "Screw thinking! I'm just going to write the first thing that comes out of my head and hope my actors can read it!" the whole time thinking about how I should be looking at a bell with a giant crack in it. "Ha! 'Crack...' like a butt. That's funny. Maybe I can work that into my show?" (And in case you're wondering, no, the crack joke didn't make it into the show. It was replaced with the much funnier 'poop' joke) That pretty much sums up my entire creative process right there.
So the next morning I gave my script to the director and tried to pretend that I knew what I had written. Then I called all my friends and said, "Hey, I forgot to tell you about this thing I'm doing tonight and if you don't come I'm not going to be your friend anymore," to which they replied, "Aren't you supposed to be in Philadelphia?" Jerks...
Then came the performance and my show was the last one to go up. All the other shows were clever and funny and it was sort of intimidating to see the plethora (Ha! 'Plethora...' that sounds like something that comes out of a vagina after it gives birth. Maybe...) of creative people who were involved in this project and all the time and care they put into it. I couldn't believe that these shows all came together in such a short amount of time. I could toil endlessly on a script and it would never be anywhere near as good as what everybody else presented at the show. Needless to say I was dreading seeing my half-assed script played out on stage and felt so sorry for giving my director and actors nothing to work with. Fortunately, like everyone else I had already seen that evening, they had what we in the biz call "talent," and they turned the notes I had scribbled out in between drunken matches of Super Smash Bros. into something that was actually watchable, and even, dare I say, entertaining.
So suddenly missing out on Philadelphia and trying to resurrect the remains of our founding fathers to become my legion of mindless undead ghost assassins (I did mention that was why I was going to Philly, right?) didn't bother me so much. In the end, this was a far more rewarding experience (because after everybody left I found buried treasure under the Roy Arias stage).
Wow! That was longer than I expected. But before I go, I just want to say that I can't wait to see you all on the 21st for what I imagine will be an even better event than last year! ... What? It's on the 28th? Fuck! I was going to go to the Alamo that weekend!
I completely forgot that I had agreed to do this last year, which, for those who know me well, shouldn't come as any surprise since I have the memory of a goldfish that was just swallowed by a shark (Why is it so dark in here...? Oh, that's right...), so I made plans to go to Philadelphia for the weekend. I got my bus ticket and booked a hotel room and was planning out my trip when I suddenly remembered (or probably more accurately received an e-mail reminder from Christine) that I had to stay up all night writing a play. So I cancelled all my plans and begrudgingly went to the theater to find out what "The Man" wanted me to write about ("The Man" being Blake... and Christine).
Now, I'm also not one of those writers who likes to drink the devil's semen (or coffee, as it is commonly referred to as) so I prepared myself a big bowl of cereal and a six pack of Corona and said, "Screw thinking! I'm just going to write the first thing that comes out of my head and hope my actors can read it!" the whole time thinking about how I should be looking at a bell with a giant crack in it. "Ha! 'Crack...' like a butt. That's funny. Maybe I can work that into my show?" (And in case you're wondering, no, the crack joke didn't make it into the show. It was replaced with the much funnier 'poop' joke) That pretty much sums up my entire creative process right there.
So the next morning I gave my script to the director and tried to pretend that I knew what I had written. Then I called all my friends and said, "Hey, I forgot to tell you about this thing I'm doing tonight and if you don't come I'm not going to be your friend anymore," to which they replied, "Aren't you supposed to be in Philadelphia?" Jerks...
Then came the performance and my show was the last one to go up. All the other shows were clever and funny and it was sort of intimidating to see the plethora (Ha! 'Plethora...' that sounds like something that comes out of a vagina after it gives birth. Maybe...) of creative people who were involved in this project and all the time and care they put into it. I couldn't believe that these shows all came together in such a short amount of time. I could toil endlessly on a script and it would never be anywhere near as good as what everybody else presented at the show. Needless to say I was dreading seeing my half-assed script played out on stage and felt so sorry for giving my director and actors nothing to work with. Fortunately, like everyone else I had already seen that evening, they had what we in the biz call "talent," and they turned the notes I had scribbled out in between drunken matches of Super Smash Bros. into something that was actually watchable, and even, dare I say, entertaining.
So suddenly missing out on Philadelphia and trying to resurrect the remains of our founding fathers to become my legion of mindless undead ghost assassins (I did mention that was why I was going to Philly, right?) didn't bother me so much. In the end, this was a far more rewarding experience (because after everybody left I found buried treasure under the Roy Arias stage).
Wow! That was longer than I expected. But before I go, I just want to say that I can't wait to see you all on the 21st for what I imagine will be an even better event than last year! ... What? It's on the 28th? Fuck! I was going to go to the Alamo that weekend!
Who Writes Short Shorts?
Even though I've written for the shorts 4x now (and acted once), there's still those two moments that define every experience.
Emotion #1. Panic. That moment where I rather get into tunnel vision. I grab my wife (regardless of whether she's amidst conversation or not), hail a cab, and grab a pen and paper. It's usually a short drive from the theater to home, so I've got precious moments to plot, scribble, and create new curse words to describe my temporary contempt to the required parameters (our given line, theme, cast, etc.) A few times I've wisely pre set the coffee machine with a bit too much coffee and ready to spring into action with just the flick of the switch. Lap top starts up. Temporary work station created. And then that fleeting moment....."oh crap." My biggest moment of panic was last year as I acted like a petulant brat, whining about the prospects of writing about the '80s. In the end, it turned out to be one of my stronger 'WWSS' ventures, but there's always that moment where you wonder how, where, and what you'll pull out of the dark recesses of the mind.
The other moment is the sweet to the aforementioned bitter. That moment when you find yourself so immersed in your project that you become lost. There's a time or two where you laugh over something you've written. I don't even realize it until Christine asks me what's so funny. I'm brought back to earth but at the same time realize I did something good. It grows from there, often in leaps and bounds. Characters find their arc and have their conflict and resolution identified. The story has a through line and is funny (as possible within one's own humble opinion).
I guess you can't have one without the other. After all this occurs, I back up the file and get a few hours of sleep, only to see the cycle start again as the actors and directors enter into moment #1.
- Michael Weems
Emotion #1. Panic. That moment where I rather get into tunnel vision. I grab my wife (regardless of whether she's amidst conversation or not), hail a cab, and grab a pen and paper. It's usually a short drive from the theater to home, so I've got precious moments to plot, scribble, and create new curse words to describe my temporary contempt to the required parameters (our given line, theme, cast, etc.) A few times I've wisely pre set the coffee machine with a bit too much coffee and ready to spring into action with just the flick of the switch. Lap top starts up. Temporary work station created. And then that fleeting moment....."oh crap." My biggest moment of panic was last year as I acted like a petulant brat, whining about the prospects of writing about the '80s. In the end, it turned out to be one of my stronger 'WWSS' ventures, but there's always that moment where you wonder how, where, and what you'll pull out of the dark recesses of the mind.
The other moment is the sweet to the aforementioned bitter. That moment when you find yourself so immersed in your project that you become lost. There's a time or two where you laugh over something you've written. I don't even realize it until Christine asks me what's so funny. I'm brought back to earth but at the same time realize I did something good. It grows from there, often in leaps and bounds. Characters find their arc and have their conflict and resolution identified. The story has a through line and is funny (as possible within one's own humble opinion).
I guess you can't have one without the other. After all this occurs, I back up the file and get a few hours of sleep, only to see the cycle start again as the actors and directors enter into moment #1.
- Michael Weems
Who Wears Short Shorts memories
The first time I did Who Wears Short Shorts, in November 2007 I was absolutely terrified. After we were given our topics Blake looked at me and was like "Are you OK? You look kind of ill." I was like "Yeah," and slunk home. I started writing and it was a little slow at first, but the later it got the more right it felt. At 2 am I was like "Hey, this is like an all-nighter, only fun!" I ultimately finished the play and was pretty happy with it.
But later that day at the performance the jitters came flying back. Was my play funny, or did it just seem that way in my caffeine-induced state? People ultimately DID laugh, and my play won "Best use of line" so it worked out.
I love doing the Who Wears Short Shorts festivals because there's such an element of excitement throughout. You literally have no idea what is going to happen. There is no time to plan, you have to go with your gut and not look back! I have never felt so much excitement in the air as when I sat in the audience and watched the plays go up.
I can't wait to stay up all night writing and do it again!!
But later that day at the performance the jitters came flying back. Was my play funny, or did it just seem that way in my caffeine-induced state? People ultimately DID laugh, and my play won "Best use of line" so it worked out.
I love doing the Who Wears Short Shorts festivals because there's such an element of excitement throughout. You literally have no idea what is going to happen. There is no time to plan, you have to go with your gut and not look back! I have never felt so much excitement in the air as when I sat in the audience and watched the plays go up.
I can't wait to stay up all night writing and do it again!!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Bring It (Snakes on a Plane)
Bill Bria, reporting for duty. The third time, as they say, is the charm. Could this be the Short Shorts a script of mine wins Best Show?
Maybe. But who cares when the process and the results are so much fun! Can't wait to get it on. And guys, I promise, NO space/time continuum scene changes. Probably. :)
Maybe. But who cares when the process and the results are so much fun! Can't wait to get it on. And guys, I promise, NO space/time continuum scene changes. Probably. :)
Word, y'all. This will only be my 2nd time doing the Shorts, so I can really only say one important thing. I went into it a little panicky. Even though I'm a quick study, I'd never had to be THAT quick. But I found out that when it really comes down to it, and you are gonna have an audience and you'd better be on your game, you'd be surprised what you can do. Adrenaline is a great thing. Get ready to do line snaps over and over. Just breathe and have fun! You also have your fellow cast members so you can play off of each other if all else fails.
I might post some more if I think of anything. See you on the 28th!!!
-Cara
2nd time for me!
Woo hoo, I'm excited to be a part of this round of the 21-hour play festival! Had a fun time last year; glad to be on board again!
The History
In May of 2007, Blake (Phare Play's Artistic Director) was directing a Southern adaptation of The Cherry Orchard at the Beckmann. Unfortunately, one of the actors would not be able to do a Saturday night show, but he was absolutely too fantastic in the part to even consider recasting him. So, we were left show-less for that night.
That was quickly remedied when we decided to try and do what I affectionately refer to as kamikazi theatre. Putting up a one act festival in a mere 21 hours.
We called it "Who Wears Short Shorts?" because at the time, we were doing quarterly nights of one acts that were all called Something Shorts - like Fall Shorts, Inside Carl's Shorts, etc. As you can tell, it has been consequently abbreviated down to WWSS.
The first time we attempted this - Blake masterminded most of it as I was on board as a director for our inaugural outing. We had five writers, five directors and only 19 actors. The theme was homecoming (a theme of "The Cherry Orchard"). The line was "What the hell is this piano doing here?" since we had a piano in the theatre that we couldn't really move out of there. The writers had no page limit and twelve hours to come back to us with something. The directors were each given a random prop that they drew out of a bag and that's what they had to run with. The winner for best show was "Don't Eat the Neighbors" by Jennifer Spragg directed by Vallen Pilgrim starring Angela Donovan, Emily Ehlinger, Emily Mostyn Brown, and Jasmine Spiess. We had eight people show up between the two shows - mainly because I think at the time, no one really knew what to expect.
Oh how things changed when we did it later. And we had to do it again because people had too much fun with it the first time.
The second time around, I had suggested superheroes as a theme. Of course, Blake blabbed it too early to the participants and so we had to alter it a little bit. The theme ended up being superhero sidekicks (fitting since the show we were doing at the time was "Carl the Second"). The line was "Someone give me some Vaseline and help me take off my rings, ‘cause I’m gonna beat this homey gee, til he can’t homey see!" (That line was all Blake's doing!). And we decided to make everyone use the same prop so Blake brought every one a roll of paper towels. We had still did five shows with 20 actors participating. Again, Jen Spragg took home Best in Show with "The Chip Hydeberger Show" directed by Chris Simon starring Emily Ehlinger, Jason Gaffney, Nick Santasier and Lizzie Schwarz.
When we did WWSS Cubed, we had so much interest that I was able to pull out of directing and help Blake plan. We upped it to six shows with 24 actors being a part of it. This time the theme was "Music Over Time". Each writer picked a decade and they had to somehow incorporate music from that time. The universal prop was a deck of playing cards. The line was done madlib style - "Our love is like a BLANK (insert an appliance of some kind here) - BLANK, BLANK and BLANK; but I’m okay with that." Kendall Rileigh won the show this time around with "The Fish Can Dance" - her ode to the music of the 90s, directed by Vallen Pilgrim and starring Mark Anderson, Robert Carroll, Erin Fehr and Pete Kilcommons. She also won best use of line for this gem spoken from Robert to Mark - "Our love is like a furnace: hot, steamy and closeted; but I’m okay with that." For more about this night - I did end up writing a blog entry about it which can be found here: http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=210827182&blogId=372560359
And our last outing - WWSS4: Four Your Shorts Only. We went with a movie theme. This time, we upped the stakes - seven shows, seven writers and directors and 28 performers. The line was still a madlib : "On a day like this, I want _____, ______, and ______; a spanking would be nice, too". To even make it more random, we had the writers draw their four actors out of a bowl (we used to plan it out in advance) as well as their genre (they each got a movie genre) and sin (yes, they each had to use one of the seven deadly sins). Then the directors drew the names of writers out of a bowl the next morning (again, it was something we had previously planned out) and the order the shows would run in was done in the same manner.
As many of you may know, it was crazy successful with a beyond sold out crowd the second show - people were actually sitting on the stage! The winner was Oliver Thrun's "Force the World to Die" directed by Chrissie Kahler and starring Branden Hayward, Natalie Neckyfarow, Klemen Novak and Steve Ringwald. Their theme was Spy Flick and their sin was Gluttony. I even hear that someone had taped one of the shows and it can be found on youtube...
Duncan Pflaster, one of the writers, wrote a great article about his experience which can be found here: http://thefabmarquee.blogspot.com/2008/11/and-all-coffee-payed-off-duncan.html
And that brings us to our yet to be titled and themed WWSS5. Oliver will be back to defend his title on March 28th! Hopefully you will come witness the insanity and fun!
Signed, Christine Weems
(former WWSS director and Executive Director of Phare Play)
That was quickly remedied when we decided to try and do what I affectionately refer to as kamikazi theatre. Putting up a one act festival in a mere 21 hours.
We called it "Who Wears Short Shorts?" because at the time, we were doing quarterly nights of one acts that were all called Something Shorts - like Fall Shorts, Inside Carl's Shorts, etc. As you can tell, it has been consequently abbreviated down to WWSS.
The first time we attempted this - Blake masterminded most of it as I was on board as a director for our inaugural outing. We had five writers, five directors and only 19 actors. The theme was homecoming (a theme of "The Cherry Orchard"). The line was "What the hell is this piano doing here?" since we had a piano in the theatre that we couldn't really move out of there. The writers had no page limit and twelve hours to come back to us with something. The directors were each given a random prop that they drew out of a bag and that's what they had to run with. The winner for best show was "Don't Eat the Neighbors" by Jennifer Spragg directed by Vallen Pilgrim starring Angela Donovan, Emily Ehlinger, Emily Mostyn Brown, and Jasmine Spiess. We had eight people show up between the two shows - mainly because I think at the time, no one really knew what to expect.
Oh how things changed when we did it later. And we had to do it again because people had too much fun with it the first time.
The second time around, I had suggested superheroes as a theme. Of course, Blake blabbed it too early to the participants and so we had to alter it a little bit. The theme ended up being superhero sidekicks (fitting since the show we were doing at the time was "Carl the Second"). The line was "Someone give me some Vaseline and help me take off my rings, ‘cause I’m gonna beat this homey gee, til he can’t homey see!" (That line was all Blake's doing!). And we decided to make everyone use the same prop so Blake brought every one a roll of paper towels. We had still did five shows with 20 actors participating. Again, Jen Spragg took home Best in Show with "The Chip Hydeberger Show" directed by Chris Simon starring Emily Ehlinger, Jason Gaffney, Nick Santasier and Lizzie Schwarz.
When we did WWSS Cubed, we had so much interest that I was able to pull out of directing and help Blake plan. We upped it to six shows with 24 actors being a part of it. This time the theme was "Music Over Time". Each writer picked a decade and they had to somehow incorporate music from that time. The universal prop was a deck of playing cards. The line was done madlib style - "Our love is like a BLANK (insert an appliance of some kind here) - BLANK, BLANK and BLANK; but I’m okay with that." Kendall Rileigh won the show this time around with "The Fish Can Dance" - her ode to the music of the 90s, directed by Vallen Pilgrim and starring Mark Anderson, Robert Carroll, Erin Fehr and Pete Kilcommons. She also won best use of line for this gem spoken from Robert to Mark - "Our love is like a furnace: hot, steamy and closeted; but I’m okay with that." For more about this night - I did end up writing a blog entry about it which can be found here: http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=210827182&blogId=372560359
And our last outing - WWSS4: Four Your Shorts Only. We went with a movie theme. This time, we upped the stakes - seven shows, seven writers and directors and 28 performers. The line was still a madlib : "On a day like this, I want _____, ______, and ______; a spanking would be nice, too". To even make it more random, we had the writers draw their four actors out of a bowl (we used to plan it out in advance) as well as their genre (they each got a movie genre) and sin (yes, they each had to use one of the seven deadly sins). Then the directors drew the names of writers out of a bowl the next morning (again, it was something we had previously planned out) and the order the shows would run in was done in the same manner.
As many of you may know, it was crazy successful with a beyond sold out crowd the second show - people were actually sitting on the stage! The winner was Oliver Thrun's "Force the World to Die" directed by Chrissie Kahler and starring Branden Hayward, Natalie Neckyfarow, Klemen Novak and Steve Ringwald. Their theme was Spy Flick and their sin was Gluttony. I even hear that someone had taped one of the shows and it can be found on youtube...
Duncan Pflaster, one of the writers, wrote a great article about his experience which can be found here: http://thefabmarquee.blogspot.com/2008/11/and-all-coffee-payed-off-duncan.html
And that brings us to our yet to be titled and themed WWSS5. Oliver will be back to defend his title on March 28th! Hopefully you will come witness the insanity and fun!
Signed, Christine Weems
(former WWSS director and Executive Director of Phare Play)
The Blog
We're hoping to use this blog to give you - the reader - a behind the scenes look at the Short Shorts in action.
Leading up to March 28th, we're using this as an open forum for past and current participants to write about their experiences with the Short Shorts. As you can imagine, everyone always has crazy stories when you are trying to put up a show in only 21 hours.
Then once WWSS5 begins, posting will stop to the blog. What we are asking the writers to do is while they are writing, to email their thoughts, frustrations and experiences during the course of the evening. Then during the day, all of the participants will be asked to text their thoughts, experiences and comments while the process is going on. And within a week all of these will be subsequently loaded up in to the blog and labeled by show so you can read them all in chronological order or by particular show.
It's like Twitter or the constant updating of your facebook status, but for the public to see. It should give you a fun look at the insanity behind trying to mount a show in less than a day.
Leading up to March 28th, we're using this as an open forum for past and current participants to write about their experiences with the Short Shorts. As you can imagine, everyone always has crazy stories when you are trying to put up a show in only 21 hours.
Then once WWSS5 begins, posting will stop to the blog. What we are asking the writers to do is while they are writing, to email their thoughts, frustrations and experiences during the course of the evening. Then during the day, all of the participants will be asked to text their thoughts, experiences and comments while the process is going on. And within a week all of these will be subsequently loaded up in to the blog and labeled by show so you can read them all in chronological order or by particular show.
It's like Twitter or the constant updating of your facebook status, but for the public to see. It should give you a fun look at the insanity behind trying to mount a show in less than a day.
WWSS5 - The Basics
WWSS is Phare Play Productions' immensely successful 21 hour play festival. It's generally regarded as a great time had by everybody and I know that Blake and I, as producers, have loved using it as a fun way to get to know lots of new actors, writers and directors.
Here's how it works:
SEVEN CAFFEINATED WRITERS: Bill Bria, Emily Ehlinger, Duncan Pflaster, Ben Plopper, Zach Rothman-Hicks, Oliver Thrun and Michael Weems
Friday, March 27th: They meet at the Beckmann theatre in midtown at 10PM to get their themes, script guidelines and the headshots/resumes for the actors they have to write a play for. They go stock up on coffee/Red Bull and write all night and come back at 10 AM on Saturday morning with six copies of their completed scripts ready to go. There they meet up with -
SEVEN IMMENSELY CREATIVE DIRECTORS: Kelly Barrett, Chris Bell, Nina Capone, Paul Falcetta, Randa Karambelas, Brooklyn Scalzo and Andy Travis
Who also show up at 10:00 AM on Saturday, March 28th at the Beckmann theatre. They are then handed a script and given about 30 - 45 minutes to caucus with their writer. Then about 11:00AM, the writers go home to sleep and the directors meet up with their -
THIRTY BRAVE AND ENERGIZED ACTORS:Donella Alanwick, Melisa Breiner-Sanders, Micah Chartrand, Catherine Corbett, Chris Cramer, Emily Evans, Erin Fehr, Alec Head, Graeme Humphrey, Ben Klier, Jeff Kroh, Andrew Lazaroff, Derrick Marshall, Elizabeth May, Michael McKeogh, Lauren Meley, Alisha Norris, Kate O'Phalen, Blaine Pennington, Annie Pesch, Cara Picone, Gillian Riley, Eddie Rodriguez, Alicia St. Louis, Dani Suder, Alexia Terrell, Adia Tucker, Steve Unwin, Jere Williams and Danny Wiseman
Who then go out into the city with their directors and casts to rehearse for a good five hours or so. Just enough time for the actors to be fully blocked and off book.
Then there are two shows - one at 7PM and one at 9:30PM that very evening. There is also an audience vote for fun awards like Hottest Cast and Best Use of Prop. Come be a part of the fun!
It's at the Beckmann Theatre at 314 West 54th Street, between 8th and 9th Avenues.
Tickets are $15, but only $12 with a student ID or if you're a PP-er.
Here's how it works:
SEVEN CAFFEINATED WRITERS: Bill Bria, Emily Ehlinger, Duncan Pflaster, Ben Plopper, Zach Rothman-Hicks, Oliver Thrun and Michael Weems
Friday, March 27th: They meet at the Beckmann theatre in midtown at 10PM to get their themes, script guidelines and the headshots/resumes for the actors they have to write a play for. They go stock up on coffee/Red Bull and write all night and come back at 10 AM on Saturday morning with six copies of their completed scripts ready to go. There they meet up with -
SEVEN IMMENSELY CREATIVE DIRECTORS: Kelly Barrett, Chris Bell, Nina Capone, Paul Falcetta, Randa Karambelas, Brooklyn Scalzo and Andy Travis
Who also show up at 10:00 AM on Saturday, March 28th at the Beckmann theatre. They are then handed a script and given about 30 - 45 minutes to caucus with their writer. Then about 11:00AM, the writers go home to sleep and the directors meet up with their -
THIRTY BRAVE AND ENERGIZED ACTORS:Donella Alanwick, Melisa Breiner-Sanders, Micah Chartrand, Catherine Corbett, Chris Cramer, Emily Evans, Erin Fehr, Alec Head, Graeme Humphrey, Ben Klier, Jeff Kroh, Andrew Lazaroff, Derrick Marshall, Elizabeth May, Michael McKeogh, Lauren Meley, Alisha Norris, Kate O'Phalen, Blaine Pennington, Annie Pesch, Cara Picone, Gillian Riley, Eddie Rodriguez, Alicia St. Louis, Dani Suder, Alexia Terrell, Adia Tucker, Steve Unwin, Jere Williams and Danny Wiseman
Who then go out into the city with their directors and casts to rehearse for a good five hours or so. Just enough time for the actors to be fully blocked and off book.
Then there are two shows - one at 7PM and one at 9:30PM that very evening. There is also an audience vote for fun awards like Hottest Cast and Best Use of Prop. Come be a part of the fun!
It's at the Beckmann Theatre at 314 West 54th Street, between 8th and 9th Avenues.
Tickets are $15, but only $12 with a student ID or if you're a PP-er.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
